victorialexington

For too long I've been plagued with this deep loathing of myself and my body. I've known that I need to rid myself of it or lose the weight before I can love myself again, but losing weight for me is hard and I never feel like doing anything about it. I've understood that if I can't lose the weight, then I might as well rid myself of the standard I've set for myself. It's not going to be easy winning an uphill battle with my mind, I've thought this way for so long; skinny equating to sexy. I've been somewhat skinny before and I was confident in myself, but gaining weight has always been so much easier for me than losing it. After having a chi

There are things I've been trying to figure out. I'm thinking of starting a vlog on youtube, but I've never been confident enough to show my weird, awkward, and nerdy self on camera; not to mention the fact that I have severe body issues. I guess I can always just show my face and jabber away, but the fact remains that I'm horrible with segwaying stuff. Editing is always a great tool, I'll have to admit. I would edit stuff, but I hate looking at myself on a computer screen. I really wish I could get over this hate of myself, but it's just so deep seeded that it's impossible to dig up and throw away; you'll be trying to hack away at the roots

It's been god knows how long since I got the chance to create something worth while or have had so much as a single iota of inspiration, it's driving me nuts. I can't think, I can't breathe without remembering what homework assignment is due when and how I badly have to get it done. (e.e) We create things as a requirement to learn a skill, but what is it all really for when they limit you to a certain set of parameters? It's also impossible to think when I'm worrying about my damn money problems and when they're going to be solved and what I'm going to do with said money. The CD player in my car is extremely screwed in the head because it spi